How do I respond when my husband gets upset that he can't drive?
Answered by Karen Garner
My husband has an issue with his car keys and his car. He hasn’t driven in over two years now. He gets upset saying I (his wife) took his car and keys. Once, he told his brother he was going to call the police on me to teach me a lesson. How do I handle the car keys/car issue?
This is such a common problem, yet that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with when it is your loved one. First, good for you for taking that hard step of taking the car keys away. You (and your husband) would have had to live with a lot of regrets and guilt if he had kept driving and hurt someone else or himself. Secondly, stay the course. Just keep in mind the bigger picture when he gets upset. Focus on the fact he isn’t really upset with you, he is upset his independence has been taken away by this horrible disease. He misses being the person he was. That won’t necessarily make it a walk in the park when he is saying these hurtful things to you, but if you can bare through the times he is like this, know you have done the right thing and continue to do so.
I have a friend whose father found the car keys after not driving for several years, took the car and they didn’t find him until the next morning. He had frozen to death during the night. She lives with that thought to this day and uses it to remind caregivers how important it is to be diligent about taking and keeping the keys away.