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Should we just let Dad stay in bed?

Answered by David Troxel

March 9, 2015

It is taking us 1 to 2 hours to get my dad out of or into bed. He is in Stage 7. At what point is it just safer to let him stay in bed?

Families often have to look at their values as they consider what level of risk to take when providing care. It may be risky to encourage a person to walk (he or she could fall), but walking is also good for the body and helps the person maintain independence and feel a part of life.

Keep your dad as active as possible. Being in bed constantly can lead to a number of health issues including painful and dangerous skin breakdown.

Consider obtaining expert advice from a visiting nurse association or hospice nurse/doctor. A professional can help you set reasonable goals for your dad and also advise you about equipment and other procedures that can help if he is in bed most of the time.

Remember that activity and engagement is still important. Be sure he has access to his favorite music. Read to him or engage him in conversation. Arrange for a friendly neighborhood (or your own) cat and dog to visit. Open the window for fresh air on nice days. Focus on quality of life even as his dementia worsens and he spends more time in bed.

Thoughts and stories from others

  1. July 16, 2015 at 08:59 am
    Posted by Nancy Rowe

    Writing more. She will not let us wash her or wash her hair . I can't even brust it . her excuse is that her head is tender and it will hurt. She says things over and over like 2 min apart. Walked on her tip toe and make weird sounds with her mouth. I know she needs to see a DR or home health care but that is not going to happen ! My brother says just let her go and let her live her life the way she wants ! I'm so lost !!!
  2. July 16, 2015 at 08:53 am
    Posted by Nancy Rowe

    I am at a loss! My mom is 85 and we are sure she has Dementia ! We can Not get her to a DR SHE WILL NOT GO ANYWERE ! she has not need for 30 years, can't get her to even go to the store or take a drive. She is not married but has a male FREIND who is 83 so he tells her she is beautiful and when he ask me to try to get her to take a spounge bath , she will want to fight me yell at me and tell me to get out of her house and don't even come back. She is pooping her pants then play with the poop in her hands ! I even took some baby wipes to help wash her up ! Lost PLEASE HELP

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