I am Having Nightmares That My Husband No Longer Loves Me
Answered by Karen Garner
My husband is 84 and has been diagnosed with severe dementia. The very first signs appeared about 10 years ago. We have been married for almost 58 years. But, this problem is with me as his caregiver. I have begun to have nightmares in which he no longer loves me. (I know he does, he tells me daily). These nightmares continue night after night and, like a soap opera, the story continues. Each night it gets worse, and last night, in my dream, I asked him if he felt that our marriage was over and he said "yes!". Even though I know full well that these are only nightmares I am suffering the emotions as if this was all real and I am afraid it is going to effect my feelings or attitude toward him as I continue to care for him. Do you have any suggestions of things that I might try to put a stop to these things?
Oh Pat, I am so sorry for all that you are going through. Congratulations of 58 years of marriage. What a wonderful testate to your love.
I am sure the nightmares are stemming from the stress and worry of caring for your husband. It is very difficult to watch someone you have loved and relied on for so many years slip away from you slowly and without anything you can do to help.
Please see your physician. Let them know what is happening in your life. They should be able to give you some prescriptions. Or you can try to change up your evening routine. Less tv and more reading. Or maybe some simple stretching exercises or soothing music. There are many things to try, but with the amount of responsibility on your shoulders right now, I am sure you are having a hard time relaxing your mind and getting the complete rest you need. Your doctor should be able to help you.
Take care of yourself first and sweet dreams!