No Easy Caregiver

Right in the midst of dealing with Jim I would sometimes find myself feeling as if I was living in a movie, or a dream, or that it was a test that I wasn’t sure I could pass. Everything seemed surreal. The way he was changing. The lack of support… Read More

The Imperfect Caregiver

No matter how perfect a caregiver you strive to be, it will never be enough. Even so, knowing this does not keep us from wanting to be perfect. Or better. Or at least above average. Or worthy of the person we are caring for. Worthy of their trust and their… Read More

Republican? Democrat? It doesn’t matter!

This post is not intended to single out any particular political affiliation or disparage anyone for voting for the candidate of their choice in our recent election. What this post intends to do is unite us all for a single cause: Alzheimer’s Research Funding and Caregiver Support. No matter your… Read More

Let Me Know

I need to know that I am forgiven. I need to know that Jim was OK. I need to know that he knew how much I was going to miss him. I told him. He cried. So we didn’t discuss his impending death too much. We discussed what was happening,… Read More

I am not beautiful

I am not beautiful. Or desirable. I don’t have long flowing hair. I have fat. I have no light in my eyes. I have grey creeping in. I have two children I am raising as a single mom. I cry. A lot. I sleep. Too much. I forget things. I… Read More

Just What We All Need

Life has ups and downs. Life has the sometimes, humdrum, boring, day to day monotony with seemingly nothing exciting or interesting going on. At this juncture in my life, I try hard to keep perspective. Sometimes I do. And sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I get submerged into that tedium life… Read More

Still Here

Jim’s clothes are still hanging where he left them. I have gone through most at some point to bring them to him while he was living in the home, but all of his dress shirts, work clothes, suits…they’re collecting dust. We have shelves to collect shoes on the landing of… Read More

Survival

Survival. It is what all caregivers are trying to focus on. Just getting through each day. Sometimes, just getting through each moment of each day. It can be a struggle that is not only overwhelming, but is unfathomable to those not facing the grueling tasks faced by care providers. If… Read More

Gift of Time

I have finally gotten myself up and out of the house for things other than grocery shopping, herding the kids to and from activities and any other mandatory obligation. There have been numerous times I have been asked to come out, join friends for drinks or dinner or something social,… Read More

Love Yourself

The finality of Jim being gone is stifling in its permanence. Although I was told over and over I would feel relief, I have yet to be so lucky. Maybe because I was expecting it. Maybe because I still carry the weight of guilt that I will never release. Maybe… Read More