Woman at doctor office

My mom is so healthy she doesn’t understand there is a problem with her memory. “My memory has always been bad, I just need to pay attention instead of daydreaming,” is her response to her problem. What can I do?

If you want to get her to the doctor and she won’t go, ask yourself why she needs to go and if it is worth it. If you feel she needs to go, you may need to tell her she is going for something else, like just a regular checkup and physical, and have a separate conversation with her doctor before the appointment. Keep in mind, it will be difficult to ascertain what needs to be done without them asking her specific questions and running through tests that she probably hasn’t had before. If she is still cognitively aware, she will wonder why this appointment is so different from past ones. Many of our readers have had this same experience and there are many ways to handle this. Please read through and use the comments and suggestions that will best fit your specific situation.

4 thoughts on “Mom denies she has problems with her memory. What can I do?

  • Robin Kinsella

    My mother has this, myself and my sisters handle it differentlt, but I am concerned because she lives alone….

    I also teach EMS in a college setting and gerontology is one of my areas of interest.

  • Carolyn

    I have tried this and she fooled the doctor. He gave her a memory test that consisted of questions like: what day is it? What time is it? Of course she will know this. Before we could leave the office she had forgotten the doctor asked her anything? It is to the point that if I am not close to her she does not even recognize me

  • Barbara Herrington

    We find it interesting to bring up discussion about what happened when your parents’ parents were older and needed some support… sometimes that helps the care receiver recognize the caregiver is simply being caring while trying to be helpful.

  • Kim

    My Mom is 82 and short time memory loss. She was always a strong Christian until her memory messed up. She is doing online dating and seeing guys their 30-40 and I can’t stop her. She tells me to mind my on business. She tells my brothers and trying to control her and makes up lies to make me look bad. She told me if I talk to one of the guys I wouldn’t her daughter anyone. My heart is broken and I don’t know how to deal with.

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