What do I do when my mother says she does not like the aide because she is rude to her and treats her like a child. Do other people have a hard time finding a good aide? My mom needs 24/7 care and I am burning out.

– Susie

Susie, this is typical of your situation where “strangers” are coming into a person’s home to care for them, but the person usually doesn’t understand they actually need care and cannot understand why this person is invading their privacy. They may worry about things being stolen and start to hide items they feel are valuable and they may feel as if that person is abusing them or hurting them. It is a matter of finding an aide they trust and feel comfortable with, maybe someone they perceive to be more of a friend than a caregiver. How the introduction is made makes a difference. Maybe having an aide come in to just “visit” and get to know your Mom first. You may have to repeat this routine often as you get new aides and as your Mom forgets that this person was already there the day before and she liked them and had a great time. You may need to shop around for help, seek out recommendations. Home Instead Senior Care offers many caregivers to choose from in each area and sometimes you may need to have multiple people come to help her before you find the perfect fit.

I am sure other readers have had this same issue and perhaps some of you have some suggestions to share? As always, thank you for helping each other!!

One thought on “Mom says she doesn’t like her aide, but I’m burning out. Now what?

  • Gloria Rushing

    When you interview the caregiver be specific about what your Mom wants, like not talking down to her like a child or being bossy. Take it slow & easy! Be kind.

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