1. “I’m sick and tired of cleaning up after you, so I bought you these diapers.” (You’ll only make the person embarrassed and defensive.)

  2. “Why can’t you control yourself?” (They can’t. If they could, they wouldn’t be incontinent.)

  3. “Are you doing this to spite me?” (No, this isn’t about mean-spiritedness.)

  4. “That’s it, nothing liquid for you after noon.” (People need adequate hydration; rather than arbitrarily withholding liquids, work with a physician to determine the cause of the problem and the right remedy.)

  5. “I can’t take you anywhere.” (You can, with preparation such as incontinence products, using the toilet right before an outing, and slowing beverage intake beforehand.)

  6. “Looks like you’ll be wearing these for the rest of your life.” (Many problems with incontinence are reversible, but even if not, there’s no point in emphasizing the negative.)