Set a regular schedule for toiling. Use finesse or a light touch such as, “Mom I need to use the bathroom, would you come with me?” versus “You have to go now.”
Adapt the wardrobe for clothes that are easy to get off and on.
Consider adding a night light to the bathroom or a contrasting color toilet seat so they can better see the toilet bowl.
Install grab bars or an elevated seat for safety.
If incontinence arises suddenly or is out of control, seek medical advice.
Use respectful language. Rather than adult diapers, call them briefs or pull ups instead.
Do your best to keep your confidence and sense of humor. Having a light touch and saying, “Oh gosh, I’m not very good at this. Help me out.” Or, if someone’s had an accident, “This is no big deal…let’s get you all sorted out.” Your family member will appreciate that you aren’t being critical or shaming and the task will go better.